Friday, October 19, 2007

Mid-Day Thought

Being a RedSox fan is equal to catching throwing stars with your face-- generally, a bad idea.

The Curse of Rocky Colavito

This is the tale of a curse that is little known outside of Cleveland. In fact, despite the books, many Indians fans have forgotten the legend. However, "The Statue" continues to hear whispers of this devastating tale.

In 1960, the Tribe traded one of the best players to ever grace Municipal Stadium, Rocky Colavito, to Detroit in exchange for Harvey Kuenn. Aside from the Babe Ruth trade, this goes down in history as one of the all time worst.

Our manager that year, Bobby Bragan, lost his job over the ordeal. Rumor has it that he placed a curse on the Indians, however, he and Colavito denied this. To make a long story short, since the trade (and we eventually got him back), the Indians have never won a World Series. We have endured a countless streak of bad luck, that continues to haunt "The Statue" to this day.

Some of these embarrassments include the Indians losing 101 games after being heralded by SI as the best team in baseball in 1987. Who can forget the time that we traded Joe Carter for Sandy Alomar and Carlos Baerga. Although these two players became an integral part of the team, Joe Carter went on to lead the Blue Jays to two World Series championships. Don't get me wrong, "The Statue" has a deep respect for Sandy and Carlos (and I fundamentally believe that players who spend long stints with teams leads to the best possible outcome for baseball as a whole-- more on this later).

I wasn't even going to bring up Jose Mesa blowing the 1997 World Series against the Florida Marlins-- but as long as I'm hitting some touchy subjects, why not bring that up? In the bottom of the ninth with 1 out, Jose Mesa managed to allow the Marlins to tie the game. Needless to say, they won. Baseball is teh sucko sometimes.

Apparently you don't want to piss off Josh Beckett or he will crush your team. He pitched a great game, but conversations overheard by "The Statue" send a clear message: Don't fuck with Kenny Lofton. We will crush you in game 6.

Enough of Joe Torre. There are more important stories. Baseball journalism is pathetic, isn't it?

Let's break this curse.


While other blogs express their desire to constructively contribute to the game, I, on the other hand, scoff at such niceties.

I waste many hours of my time, entertaining myself--via cursing at strangers on the internets or bragging about how much more I know about baseball than everyone else.

With regards to baseball, I don't care who you are or how long you have been a fan, I am better than you. I know this because, the conversations I overhear at "The Jake", while people crowd around me en mass, make me incredibly smart.

While reading this blog, make sure to respect my decisions, while limiting the level of stupidity that you may demonstrate elsewhere. Furthermore, bad mouthing my team at this blog is illegal. Punishment is: I track you down and kick you down a random flight of stairs.

Which reminds me, if you are a White Sox fan, you are not welcome here. "The Statue" thinks being a White Sox fan is equal to eating sunflower seeds with no teeth-- generally, a bad idea.

Finally, I will refer to myself as "The Statue" only in good times, when the tribe continue to add to the win column. Should we somehow destroy ourselves, I will talk to the unwashed (White Sox fans) directly.

Oh, by the way, at times I might bring in "guest bloggers". Pay is equal to the ancient Egyptian minimum wage. If you are interested in this position, please email me at my earliest convenience.